Personal Hurt becoming Violence, how do I stop it?

It's easy to allow pain to become anger and then act on it. I've been there and it's not easy. However, if you flip the way that you're viewing this, it might help. Instead of focusing on your pain and the wrongs that people have done to you, is there anything you've learned from this experience? Obviously, I don't know what they've done to you, but has your experience made you stronger or understand patience or taught you anything about yourself? I had a terrible marriage and he put me through hell. I was deeply hurt, but as hurt as I was, I slowly realized that the experience taught me how to be strong and stand on my own. There's always a silver lining and there's always a lesson to learn in dealing with pain...you just have to be able to see the underlying meaning of it all.